I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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