kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
