butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
