I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
