fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
