Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's the barista slut.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
