when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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