Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
