You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
