I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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