God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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