He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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