I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
