Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
