whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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