My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
