whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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