All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
