conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize