a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
