I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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