white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
