I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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