I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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