She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
