Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
