You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
