she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
