Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
pray to the hookup gods
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
