there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize