Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize