cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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