He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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