So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
