I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
