Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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