i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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