I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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