i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
