i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
