ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
