and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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