if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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