About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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