Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
