Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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