so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
