there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
