If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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