she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Terrible idea I love it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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