you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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