It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize