I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize