Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
