He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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