she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
